Earlier today we headed to the park as a family for a little picnic. Somehow amidst the discussion of the day Barrett payed me a lovely compliment and said something to the effect of, "Honey, you're so great. You can do everything." To which I replied, "No. I can't even keep the house clean."
We both had a good laugh at that (because we both know it's true) and then he very gently offered me a solution to my "problem" as I'll call it. He suggested that I'm very good at starting projects with gusto, but not exactly following through on the finishing end. To this, I of course posed the excuse that I have three very small humans at my feet who often have needs which interrupt my aforementioned projects. But in the end, I had to concede. I have household ADD. I start one project but move on to another before the first is finished, as was evidenced when I returned home and saw a pile of laundry (folded, mind you) in the hallway which almost made it to the bedroom. And the vacuum in the girls room. I did vacuum. I just didn't put the vacuum away.
While folding yet another load of laundry this evening I started trying to get to the root of the problem. And here is the only explanation I have for my actions:
Evidence.
I think maybe subliminally I recognize that if I fold the laundry and then put it away, no one will know that I've done it. And if I put the vacuum away, no one will know I've vacuumed. So my housekeeping ineptness (is that a word?) isn't because I'm lazy. It's because I'm shallow. I feel so much better now.
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17 comments:
Don and I joke about this all the time. I always wondered why whenever I walked into the kitchen after he unloaded the dishwasher, every cabinet would be open, as would the empty dishwasher! Must be the same reason why I will fold his clothes, but then leave them on the bed for him to put away... It's all evidence! We'll just call it "evidence of love", how's that sound?? I feel much better, too, realizing that we're not the only shallow ones out there.
love the new picture on your header. you are so talented, and barrett is right, it seems like you can do anything! can i use the evidence excuse, too? :)
You are such a GREAT person to know because honestly you can do everything (or so it seems). Ryan and I always laugh because every time we have any sort of random question we both always say "call Nicole, she'll probably know". You should start charging people consulting fees for your time. As for not putting the vacuum or laundry away...I think that is a great idea. You are brilliant. I usually just make sure Ryan knows everything I've done by telling him (fishing for a compliment of course). I'll try to fish for compliments more subtly from here on out. Thanks.
I have that same syndrome!!!! I think it's terminal. I NEED recognition for all that work! The sad truth is that things rarely get noticed unless they're half done or, in my case, not done at all!
I too have the same syndrome. I ironed some of Tanner's shirts the other day and left them on display for him to see rather than just hang them up in his closet. I have to admit though that not putting laundry away for me is laziness. I don't mind folding it, but for some reason I hate putting it away. Tanner used to come home and genuinely ask what I did that day and I would get so mad and say "Can't you tell? The house is actually clean!" Now he says it just to bug me...but it is HIS way of letting me know that he has noticed my efforts.......I think.
Ha! Too true, I love reading your posts!
Is that what my problem is? I find myself constantly running off checklists to Daron at the end of the day of what I've accomplished, just waiting for thank yous and I love yous and wow, you're so great to have done all that! Esther has been very sweet about always thanking me for dinner. That's nice to hear.
That is so funny!! :) I think all of us feel a need to prove to our husbands that we are actually doing something during the day. Often, Ben will say, so, uh, what did you DO today? And I'm like, um.... deal with the kids? So when I do something, I don't leave evidence, but I outright tell him - "Guess what! I actually vacuumed today!!"
If it is shallowness, like you say..than I am guilty of it too. I do the same thing. I leave out things on purpose JUST so that he knows I did it..sad but true. And once he does...poof it is quickly put away or cleaned up like a good little wifey. Haha...
Nice explanation. Works for me.
So that's why I do that with the laundrey. Although, I'm seriously ADD when I have a million things to do, and sometimes I forget what I was doing, even if it was in the middle of folding laundry:) Sean is really good about saying thank you when I do the dishes and clean the kitchen and I don't even have to tell him, he actually notices. Maybe that's cause it's always a mess. :)
I totally laughed at this one! I had the vacccuum out for about 3 days this week, it just moved from room to room! And there is clean laundry in my bedroom that has been waiting to be put away for the last 2 days. I should put a big sign on the door of the garage where I can list all the things I did that day, of course, that would be one more thing I would have to do.
It looks like you've given us all an explanation for our actions Nicole! Leah was right about you...and you SHOULD charge consulting fees! Josh couldn't care less if the house is clean or not (he'd rather me put aside the dishes and kiss him) so I have to fish for the thank yous a bit which means that I don't have an excuse for leaving folded laundry and vacuums out. Too bad. I really liked that one.
Wow...that explains a lot about ME! Maybe we inherited it from someone. The truth shall set you free!
it is always nice to be noticed for the things we accomplish even if we don't clean up after. I have this problem when I make dinner...love to cook, but somehow forget to cleanup a lot of the time =)
Nice one Nicole. C'mon now, just admit it, we are losing our minds and we don't know when to quit!!
With 3 little people underfoot and in your lap you need a housekeeper to stay on top of it all. Or a cook. Better would be both. But since that doesn't happen for about 99% of us, we just go a little crazy and put way too much on the list of things to do. Yes ma'am, we refuse to believe we can't do it all. Maybe that's what keeps us SANE!! Hee, hee.
Love you kiddo.
I totally get this. Very funny and true.
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